Sunday, July 15, 2007

Today’s sign of the Apocalypse- or how to piss a mom off in 60 seconds:

I'm spending a leisurely, non-renovational (yeah I know not a word) Sunday afternoon parked in front of the TV watching Nickelodeon with "my heart of love".

By 4 o'clock I had watched Drake & Josh, the gosh darned Amanda Show and those annoyingly perky kids from High School musical until I was practically in a coma, so for just a moment I was going to close my eyes and relax. As I did a commercial comes on for…..are you ready?

ENZYTE Male Enhancement. Oh yes, that's what I said people. You heard mamma right the first time. I couldn't make this up. A male enhancement commercial in the middle of programming supposedly geared toward children age 7. I know this because I pay attention to the parental ratings. I'm one of those "hover "moms and proud of it.

I flew from the sofa. Awkwardly leapt is a more precise description but I kid you not, my ass was airborne. That dive from the sofa would've earned me a Silver medal on its difficulty factor alone. I could not reach the keyboard fast enough. Being the hippie minded I can move mountains kind of woman I am I whipped off a sternly worded email to Nickelodeon and Viacom. Had it not been Sunday I'd have called both corporate offices. I was livid.

I'm telling you now people, in print. If that commercial airs again during children's programming I will call both Nick and Viacom corporate headquarters and ask that the CEO please come to the phone and explain the product to my 6 year old daughter and why he felt it advantageous that it air during children's programming.Then he gets to speak to me...

When I finish unleashing my "verbal castration" on this misguided, money grubbing corporate executive he'll never have use for a product of this nature cause you just wouldn't fertilize a dead tree now would you?

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