Could no one mention to me that I was stupid?

June 27, 2007 - Wednesday

I had considered myself a well read woman and was under the impression that I could carry on a reasonably intelligent conversation. Dare I say I'd fancied myself one pretty smart cookie. As a result I tend to watch way too much History and Discovery Channel. (I know, I should get out more but that's a subject for another blog). So I'm home watching a series on the Theory of Time- cause my social life is a friggin hoot nowadays. But it seems simple enough so I'm gonna hang with him for a minute and see what I can learn. Well this bozo begins to explain how it's possible to time travel into the future and he says "let me show you a simple way to think of it". Well now I'm all in a tizzy cause I know that in the next few minutes the doors of all knowledge will open to me and I will be one with the mysteries of the universe. He begins to stir coffee in a cup and as the liquid spins faster explains that time can move faster and faster just like this coffee so in theory we could individually move within a faster band of time than those around us. Just like the spinning coffee. I swear to the sweet baby Jesus I lost consciousness for a moment. I stared at the television in total disbelief. My brain actually hurt. I couldn't in any form or fashion wrap my brain around what he'd just said. That's when it hit me - I know nothing. I'm an idiot with an IQ a tad above room temperature and no one's had the guts to tell me. If I can't understand coffee spinning in a cup how the hell can I be expected to function on my own? Who are you people to allow me to leave my home unsupervised, operate a moving vehicle or take care of my child? Shouldn't someone be assigned to check on me at regular intervals to make sure I'm ok and not a danger to anyone? You people let me vote. What's wrong with you?