I've mentioned this product in a previous blog, but because I remain fascinated with it, it has again become the subject of another renovation mishap.
Our house is shingled on the outside, sort of Cape Cod style. Beautiful, if faded, painted light blue and smelling of cedar. Upon discovering a stash of unpainted shingles in the basement, I decide that I will frame the top of the laundry room door with the smaller ones, as the walls are shingled and it will match. I had no doubt this plan was just another in a series of incredibly gifted ideas of mine and it started off wonderfully. They always start wonderfully.
My idea was to Gorilla glue them in place, secure with duct tape until the glue dried then nail them in place, paint them to match the door frame and voila! I had my assembly line set up; glue and tape, glue and tape.
My little heart of love then came into the laundry room to ask me a question. As I turned my head my carefully coifed, quasi-Victoria Beckham bangs got stuck in a glob of the damn glue- from -hell. I rushed into the kitchen and began the removal process.
First I washed the bangs with Dawn detergent. No luck. Now the bangs are soapy and glued together. Then I think "Goof Off", it takes off sticky stuff. Wrong. Nothing worked. Not the washing, not the sticky crap remover, not peanut butter –NOTHING. I even resorted to sugar, thinking it would act as sandpaper and just rip the glue out.
There was no other alternative. I had to cut the glue out. Now any woman who spends a fortune on their fake dyed hair will tell you how heartbreaking this was for me. It was like cutting off my own arm. It's expensive and time consuming to maintain blond/frosted hair when your natural color is several shades darker than coal.
I now look like everyone's worst first grade picture. Bangs chopped squarely over my brow as if I were back in my childhood kitchen, perched on a stool waiting for my mother to "trim it a just bit" for picture day at school. It never worked out the way she'd intended and it didn't fare any better this time.
I have decided not to wallow in pity. Instead I will rock those bangs as if they were the height of fashion and I'm the only woman in this town cool enough to carry them off. If any one is ballsy enough to ask: most people who know me would not mention it out of fear; I will tell them I flew to Paris to have it done. It's tres chic and won't hit the states until the fall fashions are shown.
They'll be insanely jealous and I guarantee at least one of them will rush home and chop her bangs, afraid of not being the first on her block to sport a new trend.
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